COMMUNICATION AND EXAMPLE OF PARENTS AS MEDIATORS IN THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN ATTACHMENT AND STUDENTS' CHARACTER TOLERANCE

In the last ten years there has been an increase in cases of intolerance in Indonesia. This illustrates the lack of strong character tolerance in perpetrators, most of whom are teenagers. This study aims to determine the relationship between children's attachment to parents and students' tolerance character by using parent-child communication and parental example in tolerance as mediator variables. The subjects of the study were 809 high school students in the city of Yogyakarta. This study uses a mixed methods approach, which is a mixture of quantitative and qualitative approaches with sequential explanatory design. The data collection method uses scales and interviews. As for quantitative data analysis techniques using GLM Mediated Analysis from Jamovi. The results of the analysis reveal: 1. There is a positive relationship between attachment to parents and students' tolerance character with parental example in tolerance as a mediator, 2. There is a positive relationship between attachment to parents and student tolerance character, but the mediator variable of parent-child communication quality cannot play a full role, 3. There is a significant positive relationship between attachment to parents and parental example in tolerant, 4. There is a significant positive relationship between parents' example in tolerance and students' tolerance character, 5. There was a significant positive relationship between child attachment to parents and parent-child communication, 6. There was no relationship between the quality of parent-child communication and the tolerance character of students, 7. There is a positive relationship between a child's attachment to parents and the student's tolerant character.


INTRODUCTION
Indonesia, as a large country, is accompanied by wealth in the form of abundant natural resources and diversity of culture, ethnicity, language, race and religion, which can become capital for development.However, this wealth can also be a potential threat to national stability and has the potential to result in the The Ministry of Home Affairs conducted a survey regarding religious tolerance in 2019.From the survey, it was found that there were numbers that showed the seeds of intolerance living in society.For example, there are still 8.08% of residents who are unwilling to have working relationships with people of other religions, 6.28% who are unwilling to be friends with people of other religions, and 7.24% who say they do not want to be neighbors with people who follow other religions.Other (Pratama, 2022).
A survey conducted by the Setara Institute indicated that currently students are exposed to intolerance.This was proven by the Setara Institute survey on2016which was carried out in 171 schools in Jakarta and Bandung.The survey results found that there was a group of state high school students who were exposed to the ideology of terrorism as much as 0.3 percent and as many as 2.4 percent of students experienced active intolerance.Even though the group of students who have high tolerance is quite large, namely 61.6 percent, special attention needs to be paid to those exposed to intolerance and the ideology of terrorism.Because, in the context of terrorism, the presence of just one exposed person is considered to be quite a lot (Akmal Insan, 2015).
Research conducted by socio-religious activist Farcha Ciciek in seven cities, namely Jember, Padang, Jakarta, Pandeglang, Cianjur, Cilacap and Yogyakarta, found that Islamic teachers and their students were less tolerant of differences and tended to support violent ideologies.Ciciek said that 13 percent of students in the seven cities supported radical movements and 14 percent agreed with Imam Samudra's terrorist acts.Ciciek added that several terrorist perpetrators who were arrested by the authorities were students at public schools From the explanation above, it can be concluded that intolerant attitudes and Page 1551 Asian Journal of Engineering, Social and Health Volume 2, No. 12 December 2023 behavior show increasing symptoms, especially among the younger generation (students) and teachers in schools.This is certainly something that must be sought for a solution, because if intolerant attitudes and behavior increase in the life of the nation and state, then conflict between elements of the nation will occur, and then divisions will occur which will greatly hinder the course of development.Therefore, there needs to be efforts to increase the character of tolerance among members of the community, especially among young students.
Anthropologists who are members of the Anthropologist Movement for a Diversity and Inclusive Indonesia (AUI) say that there are three factors that trigger intolerance in the Indonesian nation, namely educational factors, injustice in the economic sector, and the legal process.
From the opinion of anthropologists, education is one of the main factors influencing the formation of the character of tolerance.The educational factors referred to above can have a broad meaning, including family, school and community education.This is supported by Megawangi's opinion as quoted by Sari, et al (2017) that whatever deviations occur in the process of individual formation are a series of results from the influence of the family and the external environment.
Hyoscyamina (2011) states that the family is the first and main educational environment in a child's life and is an important basis for forming a child's character.The formation of strong character and a good spirit in children requires the creation of a harmonious and dynamic family atmosphere.A harmonious and dynamic family can be created if there is good two-way coordination and communication between parents and children.
Megawangi, as quoted by Sari, et al (2017), added that the attachment between parents and children really determines whether the basic character values in the child are good or not.The emotional attachment of parents, especially the mother as the main caregiver, affection, touch, father's involvement in parenting in childhood and instilling personality values will determine the formation of a child's character.
Dini (2022) stated that parental example is the main factor in the success of character education in the family."Water pours from the roof and falls into the wastewater too," says a proverb that is closely related to the example parents set for their children.According to this proverb, the character, behavior or whatever of parents will be inherited or followed by their children.A similar proverb is: "The fruit does not fall far from the tree."Wibowo (2012) added that many psychological studies have revealed that most of what children learn does not come from what parents say when teaching their children, but most children learn from their parents' example.Apart from that, Suaidi, et al (2021) also added that in instilling character in students, example is a more effective and efficient method because students/children generally tend to imitate (imitate) their educators.
Based on the background of study, this study aims to determine the relationship between children's attachment to parents and students' tolerance character by using parent-child communication and parental example in tolerance as mediator variables.

Research Instrument
Data collection tools in this research include using a scale for children's attachment to parents, a scale for the quality of parent-student communication, a scale for parental example in tolerance, and a scale for the character of tolerance.Each scale is arranged in the form of a Likert scale which shows the level of suitability of the statement to the subject's condition through four alternative answers, namely SS: Very Appropriate, S: Appropriate, TS: Not Appropriate, and STS: Very Inappropriate.
Before the try out, the items in each scale were tested content validity involving 6 validators who have expertise in the field of psychometrics/psychology, consisting of 5 validators who have doctorates in psychology, and 1 validator who has a master's degree and all work as lecturers in psychology faculties at state and private universities.To calculate content validity, calculations were carried out using the Aiken V formula.The items included in the try out were items that had an Aiken V score above 0.75.

Tolerance character scale
The tolerance character scale aims to determine the level of adolescent tolerance character.The tolerance character scale used in this research uses a measuring instrument prepared by the researcher himself by referring to the character aspects of Lickona (2022) which consists of 3 aspects, namely moral knowing, moral feeling, and moral action.and aspects of tolerance from Supriyanto and Wahyudi (2017), which consist of 3 aspects: peace, respect differences and individuals, and awareness.Based on the results of trials that have been carried out, the scale shows a reliability coefficient value of 0.937 with a total of 30 items.

Children's attachment scale to parents
The child's attachment scale to parents aims to determine the level of attachment of adolescents.The attachment scale used in this research uses a measuring instrument prepared by the researcher himself with reference to aspectsfrom Armsden and Greenberg (1987) which consists of aspects of trust, communication and alienation.Based on the results of trials that have been carried out, the scale shows a reliability coefficient value of 0.947 with a total of 31 items.

Child-parent communication quality scale
The child-parent communication quality scale aims to determine the level of attachment of adolescents.The scale of quality of child-parent communication used in this research uses a measuring instrument compiled by the researcher himself by referring to communication aspects from DeVito (2007) which consists of 5 aspects, namely:openness, empathy, supportive attitude, positive attitude, and equality.Based on the results of trials that have been carried out, the scale shows a reliability coefficient value of 0.907 with a total of 19 items.

Scale of parental example in tolerance
The parental example in tolerance scale aims to determine the level of attachment of adolescents.The parental exemplary scale in tolerance used in this research uses a measuring instrument prepared by the researcher himself by referring to the exemplary aspects of Novita, et al (1997) which consists of 3 aspects, namelyaspects of exemplary knowledge, exemplary feelings and exemplary actionsmoral,and indicators/principles of tolerance from Tilman (2004) which consist of: caring, not afraid, love, respecting each other, respecting people's differences, respecting others, respecting the goodness of others, open, receptive, comfortable with life/other people).Based on the results of trials that have been carried out, the scale shows a reliability coefficient value of 0.940 with a total of 32 items.

Data analysis technique
The data analysis technique used in this research is GLM mediated analysis with the help of the Jamovi application (program).

Research Implementation
Data collection for this research was carried out on students at the senior secondary school level, namely SMA N, SMK N, MAN, and SMA Muhammadiyah in Yogyakarta.The data collection process was carried out by distributing 4 research scales realized through Google form media. From the results of data collection, 809 responses were collected according to the number of samples determined before data collection based on the sample selection process carried out using the quota sampling method.

RESULTS AND DISCUSSION
Data obtained from the results of data collection in 4 schools, namely at SMA Negeri 9 Yogyakarta, SMK Negeri 2 Yogayakarta, Madrasah Aliyah Negeri 1 Yogyakarta, and SMA Muhammadiyah 3 Yogyakarta with a total of 808 subjects, then tabulated the data for data analysis purposes.The collected data was analyzed using GLM Mediation Models and worked with the Jamovi program.The data used is primary data obtained from 4 scales distributed to a sample of 809 people.
Based on the results of data analysis using GLM mediation models, the following analysis results were obtained: From the results of the data analysis above, the following conclusions can be obtained: 1) There is a significant relationship between attachment and the character of tolerance through parental example in tolerance as a mediator (p < 0.001).This means that parents' example of tolerance can play a full role as a good mediator in the relationship between attachment and the character of tolerance.2) b.There is no significant relationship between attachment and tolerance with parent-child communication as a mediator (p: 0.447).This means that parent-child communication cannot act as a good mediator in the relationship between attachment and tolerance.
3) c.There is a significant positive relationship between attachment to parents and parental example in tolerance (p < 0.001).This means that the higher a child's attachment to their parents, the more positive the child's perception of their parents' example of tolerance.4) d.There is a significant positive relationship between parental example in tolerance and students' tolerant character (p < 0.001).This means that the more positive the child's perception of the parents' example of tolerance, the higher the child's tolerant character.5) e.There is a significant positive relationship between children's attachment to parents and parent-child communication (p < 0.001).This means that the higher a child's Page 1555 Asian Journal of Engineering, Social and Health Volume 2, No. 12 December 2023 attachment to their parents, the better the quality of parent-child communication.6) f.There is no relationship between the quality of parent-child communication and students' tolerant character (p: 0.477).This means that the high or low quality of parentchild communication will not cause or influence the high or low level of the child's tolerance character.7) h.There is a positive relationship between children's attachment to parents and students' tolerant character (p < 0.001).This means that the higher a child's attachment to his parents, the higher/better his tolerance character will be.

Discussion
Based on the research results, the first finding is that the quality of parent-child communication cannot act as a mediator in the relationship between children's attachment to parents and the character of tolerance.The discussion related to the first finding is as follows: Human behavior cannot be separated from environmental influences.The environment here can mean family, school, community and media.This is in accordance with Bandura's opinion with his basic concept of reciprocal determinism, namely a formula that explains human behavior in the form of continuous reciprocal interactions between cognitive, behavioral and environmental determinants (Suwartini, 2016).Baron and Byrne (2005) say that attachment is a strong emotional bond between children and parents.Most of a child's interactions with their parents will have an impact on the future because the family is the first place where children learn how to relate to other people.According to Armsden and Greenberg (1987) the aspects contained in attachment are trust, communication, and alienation.
The first aspect of attachment is trust.Trust is a feeling that teenagers have that their parents view them positively and believe in the goodness of their parents' hearts.Teenagers who have positive self-confidence and believe that their parents are kind will bring teenagers a sense of security in the future.Adolescents who feel seen positively by their parents will usually enjoy relationships with their parents and will view others (including their parents) and themselves positively.According to DeVito (1997), this will greatly support the creation of effective communication because effective communication will be established if there is a positive attitude between the two parties communicating.
The next aspect is communication.Good communication between teenagers and parents can make an individual open in telling about any problems they face.The openness that exists between parents and children will further increase the possibility of effective communication between children and parents.
The next aspect is alienation.Alienation can be seen from satisfaction with the quality of the adolescent's relationship with their parents and the adolescent's affiliation with their parents.The closer the teenager is to his parents, the better the attachment will be.On the other hand, if a teenager feels isolated in his relationship with his parents, this shows a lack of attachment.When teenagers feel close to their parents, openness between parents and children will be established and will create a positive attitude towards each other.This is what will improve the quality of communication between teenagers and their parents.
According to Bowlby as quoted by Bashori (2003), when the relationship between children and parents in childhood is good, the child will develop a model of relationship that is based on trust, both in himself and others, and this causes the child to feel safe and not afraid of contact with other people.From the explanation above, it can be concluded that children's attachment to their parents has a positive correlation with the quality of parent-child communication.The stronger the child's attachment to parents, the higher the quality of parent-child communication.
In terms of the relationship between the quality of parent-child communication and the child's tolerant characterFrom the results of data analysis it turns out that the quality of communication between parents and children is not related to the character of tolerance.This means that the high or low quality of communication between parents and children does not affect the level of the child's tolerance character.The results above contradict the opinion of Nisa ( 2016) who says that character education is influenced by the quality of communication that exists between parents and children.
The results above also contradict the research results of Situmorang, et al (2016) which stated that communication between teenagers and their parents had a significantly positive relationship with moral feelings, moral actions, and the overall character of teenagers.This means that if the communication between teenagers and their parents is open and avoids problems, then the feelings, moral actions and overall character of teenagers will improve.
There is a possibility that there is no proven relationship between parent-child communication and the character of tolerance because in everyday communication parents do not convey messages related to the meaning and importance of tolerance, so that the values of tolerance are not instilled in children.
As for the research results, the second finding is that there is a significant relationship between attachment and the character of tolerance through parental example in tolerance as a mediator.This means that parents' example in tolerance can play a full role as a mediator in the relationship between attachment and the character of tolerance, or however, the relationship between the two will be stronger if it is mediated by parents' example in tolerance.Discussion regarding the second finding can be seen in the description below.
According to Armsden and Greenberg (1987) the aspects contained in attachment are trust, communication, and alienation.The first aspect of attachment is trust.Trust is a feeling that teenagers have that their parents view them positively and believe in the goodness of their parents' hearts.Adolescents who feel seen positively by their parents will enjoy relationships with their parents and will view others (including their parents) and themselves positively.Adolescents' positive attitude towards their parents will encourage adolescents to listen and believe what their parents say, see, feel and do what their parents feel and do.
When parents often convey messages about the importance of tolerance, teenagers will record it, store it well and use it as values that should be used as a guide for behavior.When parents often show positive feelings towards behavior or events that illustrate tolerance, then children will have the same feelings as the feelings felt by their parents.Likewise, when parents often act and behave in a way that reflects tolerant behavior, their children will behave the same way when they are faced with the same situation.
The next aspect is communication.Good communication between teenagers and parents can enable both parties to be open in discussing any problems they face.The openness that exists between parents and children will further increase the possibility of effective communication.
When effective communication is established, the moral messages that parents want to convey to their teenage children will be easier for the children to accept.Thus, when Page 1557 Asian Journal of Engineering, Social and Health Volume 2, No. 12 December 2023 parents intend to instill the values of tolerance, teenagers will find it easier to accept them and will then form feelings and behavior that are in accordance with the messages or values that are often said and carried out by their parents.The next aspect is alienation.Alienation can be seen from satisfaction with the quality of the adolescent's relationship with their parents and the adolescent's affiliation with their parents.The closer the teenager is to his parents, the better the attachment will be.On the other hand, if a teenager feels isolated in his relationship with his parents, this shows a lack of attachment.When teenagers feel close to their parents, a strong emotional bond will form between parents and children, which will then lead to positive attitudes towards each other.When an emotional bond is established and there is a positive attitude towards each other, children will tend to make their parents someone who will pay attention to teenagers.Teenagers will always pay attention to the thoughts or ideas expressed by parents, and the feelings and behavior of parents will always be the attention of their teenage children.Thus, children's thoughts, feelings and behavior cannot be separated from the thoughts, feelings and behavior of their parents.
When teenage children always pay attention to what their parents say, feel and do, it means that the child has made their parents a respected figure, and has become a role model in their attitude and behavior.Therefore, it is important for parents to show positive thoughts, feelings and behavior, one of which is tolerance, so that it is hoped that children will imitate their parents.
Hasmalawati and Hasanati (2019) wrote the opinion of Armsden & Greenberg which stated that the meaning of attachment is an affectionate bond between two individuals that has a strong intensity.The existence of a strong affection/emotional bond between children and their parents will cause children to always remember the advice and good behavior carried out by their parents, both directed at themselves and others.The advice and good behavior that parents often do will then inspire children to behave in everyday life.
As a parent, the most important thing in instilling character is example, so that example becomes an important part in the success or failure of character education.This is in line with the opinion of Peter Lesmana who said that one way to teach religious tolerance is that parents must be role models, that is, if parents want to teach children about tolerance, then parents must be able to set an example and role model in tolerant behavior (Sara, 2017).
According to Dini (2022) in Islam there is a hadith that says "lisanul hal afsahu min Lisali maqal" which means that example is more inherent and influential than just words.This is in line with the opinion of Nasih'Ulwan (1996) who states that the best way to shape children's morals, mental and social skills is by example.
The exemplary aspects according to Novita, et al (2015) which refer to Schwartz's opinion include exemplary knowledge, exemplary feelings and exemplary actions.The exemplary aspect in knowledge, namely parents teaching and giving case examples to children in facing and solving a problem.The exemplary aspect of feelings is that parents set an example for children to care and have empathy for other people.The exemplary aspect in action, namely parents giving an example to apply and carry out moral values in behavior.
Parents are model figures for children, so children will usually follow and imitate everything their parents do, so parents must be able to set a good example.Basically, children tend to imitate what their parents do, and this habit of imitation will shape the child's character in the future.This opinion was reinforced by Aristotle who said that character is closely related to habits, so that if parents make a habit of giving good examples and role  (Lickona, 2022).It can be said that parents who set an example to be tolerant with other people will have a tolerant character and attitude too.
According to Lickona (2022) role modeling is an effective way to build character or instill good values.Children tend to imitate both cognitive, affective and psychomotor aspects of their parents.Parents who often model tolerance for differences, children will learn to accept and respect differences.Likewise, parents who make it a habit to invite their children to feel other people's feelings, then the child will be emotionally able and willing to feel what other people feel.Furthermore, parents who often display or display tolerant behavior towards other people will also imitate their parents' tolerant behavior.Thus, parents' example in terms of knowledge, feelings and actions related to tolerance will influence the child's tolerant character.
From the explanation above, it can be concluded that the process of character formation is influenced by the example of parents.In other words, parental example in tolerance has a positive relationship with the character of tolerance in adolescent children.This means that the better the level of parental example in tolerance, the better the character of tolerance in teenagers.Vice versa, the lower the parents' example of tolerance, the lower the character of tolerance in adolescents.
Nasih'Ulwan (1996) states that example in education is the method that most ensures success in preparing and forming children's good moral, spiritual and social attitudes.This is important to do, because parents and teachers as educators are the best examples in the child's view that will be imitated through their behavior, manners whether they realize it or not, even this is directly imprinted in their soul and feelings, both in words and actions.
Sitompul (2016) added that example from parents and teachers is something that children need in developing the personality or character of children or students.The importance of example by parents and teachers is based on the tendency of children to copy and imitate the actions and behavior of adults.Apart from imitation, instilling values and forming attitudes must be practiced repeatedly or habituated.

CONCLUSION
Based on the results of the data analysis above, the following conclusions can be drawn: (1) there is a significant relationship between attachment and the character of tolerance through parental example in tolerance as a mediator (p < 0.001).This means that parents' example of tolerance can play a full role as a good mediator in the relationship between attachment and the character of tolerance, (2) there is no significant relationship between attachment and tolerance with parent-child communication as a mediator (p: 0.447).This means that parent-child communication cannot act as a good mediator in the relationship between attachment and tolerance, (3) there is a significant positive relationship between attachment to parents and parental example in tolerance (p < 0.001).This means that the higher a child's attachment to their parents, the more positive the child's perception of their parents' example of tolerance, (4) there is a significant positive relationship between parental example in tolerance and students' tolerant character (p < 0.001).This means that the more positive the child's perception of the parents' example of tolerance, the higher the child's tolerant character, (5) there is a significant positive relationship between children's attachment to parents and Communication and Example of Parents as Mediators in The Relationship between Attachment and Students' Character Tolerance Page 1556 Asian Journal of Engineering, Social and Health Volume 2, No. 12 December 2023

Table 2 . Results of data analysis with GLM mediation models
1554 Asian Journal of Engineering, Social and Health Volume 2, No. 12 December 2023 Note.Confidence intervals computed with method: Bias corrected bootstrap Note.Betas are completely standardized effect sizes Communication and Example of Parents as Mediators in The Relationship between Attachment and Students' Character Tolerance Page 1558Asian Journal of Engineering, Social and Health Volume 2, No. 12 December 2023 models, then children will imitate good things